I do sincerely appreciate those of you who have urged me to write about our little Daxton. I have been humbled by the interest in him and his well-being, and especially by all the prayers on his behalf, so I figured it was the least I could do to blog about his progress. I make no promises as to how often I will post, or the quality of those posts, but here goes! I admit I'm not sure of the best way to go about this, so I'll just dive right in with Daxton's history.
Daxton was born on November 8 weighing 9 lbs. 2 oz. (That makes him only the 5th heaviest of our 9 children!) It was a nail-biter of a delivery that the doctor admitted put a few more gray hairs on his head! But calling for NICU ended up being unnecessary and Daxton went home with me apparently healthy.
At his first pediatrician appointment, Daxton was a little jaundiced. No big deal; a few of the other kids have been yellow-tinged too. On the third day of checking levels however, Daxton's bilirubin had continued to rise. He was acting like he was in pain, was not eating, and had thrown up a few times. The doctor decided to admit him to the hospital. After several attempts at starting an IV, Daxton got some really cool sunglasses and was settled in under the bili-lights.
Well, he was supposed to settle in. Actually, he got more and more agitated, threw up several more times, and that night basically went from bad to worse. By the next morning, he was alternating between posturing and screaming in incredible pain. At one point the nurses had to untangle his fingers from my hair. It was pretty much the most emotionally painful night/morning of my life. I was totally helpless to comfort him and I was sobbing by the time shift change occurred in the morning. As I pleaded with the nurses to do something for his pain, Daxton had what looked to me like a seizure. The nurse immediately took him and started hooking up monitors. Then he had another seizure. They whisked him away to the ICU section and to do a CAT scan.
Trent went down to CAT scan with Daxton knowing what they were looking for. I was blissfully ignorant and just grateful that he was being taken care of. Trent came into the room a while later in tears and led me to where the doctor had pulled up the CAT scans. Daxton had had a massive brain hemorrhage. It was an intraventricular bleed that had spilled out into the surrounding brain tissue - a lot. The doctor was very blunt and basically said we had some tough decisions to make. The likelihood of Daxton dying was very real and survival would most likely mean a vegetative state. For the time being, he had been sedated and he was on a ventilator. As tough as that was to hear, I was honestly just so grateful that he was not struggling in pain. (I LOVE VERSED!) We were led down the hall to the PICU and to see our 10-day-old baby on life support. (The beanie baby turtle was used by the respiratory therapists to hold Daxton's arm or the tube or whatever right where it needed to be.)
That day was a whirlwind of visits from PICU doctors, a neurologist, a neurosurgeon, and respiratory therapists, as well as our awesome nurses. Our good friend Troy Tuke was at the hospital almost immediately and he was followed closely by our stake president, Pres. Davie, Bishop Holland, and my dad. Troy's wife stopped by our house, while my mom held down the fort, and picked up the little white outfit that all the boys have worn for their baby blessing. Since he obviously couldn't wear it, we hung it on Daxton's little bed while Trent and the other priesthood holders gave him a name and blessing. Yeah - emotional to say the least.
|We weren't exactly thinking about pictures at the time of Daxton's actual blessing. This was taken a few days later when he was off the ventilator.|
As we sat down that night to try and absorb everything that had happened, we were amazed at the peace and comfort we felt. We knew that Daxton was in the Lord's hands. We knew where he had just come from and where he would go if he passed on. We know that Daxton is sealed to us and that he is ours forever, no matter what happens. We know that the power of the Atonement is real, that healing and wholeness are possible - whether now or in the eternities. We know that the promise of the resurrection is more than just wishful thinking. We know that the Comforter brings real comfort and peace "which passes all understanding." While I was not OK with Daxton's current state, I was perfectly at peace with the situation, regardless of how it played out. What a blessing to have a testimony of true doctrine.